Viewer Submits: Getting Her Panties in a Bunch.

CAPS LOCK EXCITEMENT!!!

Cold Feet? Not While I’m Around.

Your Mom Wants to Watch Me Do It.

10 One Liners That Didn’t Work (for me).

1. hhheeeyyy, un-sexy.

2. I would. But not you because you’re as old as my dad (and I don’t have those kind of daddy issues).

3. Wouldn’t you like to know.

4.  I am also a drunk virgin who wants just one night on a webcam with a dream girl. . . wait: two truths and a lie. WHICH ONE IS THE LIE???

5. Probably not. But I’d rather do nothing than do something with you. SLAM.

6. Thanks dad. Weird.

7. Does this work?

8. WTF?

9. Inside my uterus?

10. I can barely afford to buy myself a drink sir. So. I probably shouldn’t. But thanks for the offer?

Balls So Hard: They Rock Like Boulders.

Can’t Get Enough Feet.

This one wouldn’t be THAT weird and I would have potentially considered it if he wasn’t the guy who’s engaged to my former boss. Yeah, creepy, I know.

Actually I probably should have taken him up on it since my former boss actually owes me like $600+ for back work she never paid me.

What was I thinking?

Oh, well. He blocked me moments later.

I’m Back! And I Actually Went On a Date this Time!

This is how it all went down. And by down, I mean it hit an ice berg and he’s floating in a freezing an ocean.

Okay. Kids. So I really went on a date with this guy. I didn’t feel any chemistry and to be honest if I’m going to go on a second date I prefer the guy not just be surface, that he have depth, sincerity, intelligence. And though he might work really well with someone else, I wasn’t feeling it. All of which I told him after the first date.

Then this happened: 

Three days later he sent me another message about “watching netflixs.”

Two days later he sent this:

And this is my return to aimless cupid.

I hope you’re all ready for round 2.

Give Me A Break.

That answer basically sums it up. No, I do not have a boyfriend, nor did I find anyone close to resembling a boyfriend via online dating. No the mafia isn’t looking for me, though that would be more exciting. Basically, the messages are getting out of control and I can’t keep up. It’s wasting too much of my time that I could be spending with friends I actually care about so I’m shutting down for a bit.

There is a chance guest bloggers will take my place; if you want to be a guest blogger email me at submit.aimlesscupid@gmail.com and I’ll hook you up with details. (I probably won’t be checking this email very often so if you know me personally try FB.)

I hope you all have enjoyed your time via Aimless Cupid; perhaps I’ll come back in a month or two. Or maybe instead I’ll find llooovvveee (unlikely).

xoxo

They Have All Been Like This Lately.